The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican – Bearded Theory 2018 photos

Rapidly becoming the must-have, must-see festival band, the Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican played to an over-capacity Woodland Stage arena as hundreds queued for a chance a catching their much-anticipated antics.

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It's #EyeCandyTuesday and on Thursday we urge you to vote for a principled man who stands with the merry, not the blue.

**THE MANIFESTO**
Alan Doonican has revealed his fully-costed manifesto, which would be implemented during his time in office...

*Festival Hero Awards (FHA) should be added to the New Year's honours list for people putting on a festival for the first time.

*Greggs employees to get a minimum of twice the minimum wage.

*Nando's to be monitored by OFNAN, a new government regulatory body set up to improve standards.

*The earnings of Bono, Justin Bieber, Kanye West, Bob Geldof, Simon Cowell, Jeremy Kyle, Gordon Ramsey, Piers Morgan and Jeremy Clarkson should be subject to Cockwomble tax. The first four of these should also be barred entry to the UK. Under my proposed Arsehole Tax, Katie Hopkins should be deported...
anywhere.

*Free accordions for Key Stage Two students (or a banjo for those less able).

*Donald Trump must always be referred as "Cockwomble in Chief" (until impeached)

*There should be a ministry of portaloos responsible for maintaining standards.

*All pub landlords that allow children entry should conduct lessons at their local primary school in pub etiquette. (This should include advanced lessons in 'getting your round in')

*Pubs with at least two live music nights and at least two real ales on draft (and suede shoe-friendly toilet facilities) should pay no VAT.

*Future policies will look at issues around traffic wardens, adequate pie fillings, a maximum price for a coffee, a regulatory body for eyebrows (ONFLEEK) and the abolition of flowery language about food as part of our 'Make Britain Gravy Again' campaign
...

Its #EyeCandyTuesday and on Thursday we urge you to vote for a principled man who stands with the merry, not the blue.

**THE MANIFESTO**
Alan Doonican has revealed his fully-costed manifesto, which would be implemented during his time in office... 

*Festival Hero Awards (FHA) should be added to the New Years honours list for people putting on a festival for the first time. 

*Greggs employees to get a minimum of twice the minimum wage.

*Nandos to be monitored by OFNAN, a new government regulatory body set up to improve standards.

*The earnings of Bono, Justin Bieber, Kanye West, Bob Geldof, Simon Cowell, Jeremy  Kyle, Gordon Ramsey, Piers Morgan and Jeremy Clarkson should be subject to Cockwomble tax. The first four of these  should also be barred entry to the UK. Under my proposed Arsehole Tax, Katie Hopkins should be deported...
anywhere. 

*Free accordions for Key Stage Two students (or a banjo for those less able).

*Donald Trump must always be  referred as Cockwomble in Chief (until impeached) 

*There should be a ministry of portaloos responsible for maintaining standards.

*All pub landlords that allow children entry should conduct lessons at their local primary school in pub etiquette. (This should include advanced lessons in getting your round in) 

*Pubs with at least two live music nights and at least two real ales on draft (and suede shoe-friendly toilet facilities) should pay no VAT.

*Future policies will look at issues around traffic wardens, adequate pie fillings, a maximum price for a coffee, a regulatory body for eyebrows (ONFLEEK) and the abolition of flowery language about food as part of our Make Britain Gravy Again campaign

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He’s always got my vote but surprised to see the nationwide ban on jus didn’t make the manifesto ☹️

PS my all time favourite pic of Alan.

Got my vote, beautiful manifesto you cunning linguist! ❤

Nothing to disagree with there, particulary the new taxes, and well-behaved children standing their rounds! 🤣

About time we got someone decent to vote for!

This has been my profile picture since the election was announced...hope it works! 😉

Another party, same old story, none of you like jus

👍 for Alan. Get the Blues out on Thursday! 🤞

Makes more sense than the rest of them!

With Alan's debonair manner, statesman-ly looks, impeccable dress sense, he gets my vote everytime

#InAlanAlanAlanWeTrust

I normally hate it when bands I like start preaching politics. But This vote Alan campaign may be the exception. 😀

Alan! Alan! Alan! got my vote 👍

This is spot on😅🤣. A banjo for the less abled lol

Just love this!!

Brilliant

I’m voting Alan

Gets my vote!!

At last. When are the hustings?

George Hinson Rhianne Woodfine we'll be voting Alan 😃

Robert Whalley

Peter York Peter here is a real party

Michael Wilcox

Only if he promises free cardigans for all!

My other half smokes a pipe so yes. I'm voting Alan hehe

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It's #EyeCandyTuesday, and a somewhat bohemian Alan is performing a rapturous rhapsody in blue.
Don't forget, #ECT fans... it's not long until our festive 12 Days Of ALAN!
...

Its #EyeCandyTuesday, and a somewhat bohemian Alan is performing a rapturous rhapsody in blue. 
Dont forget, #ECT fans... its not long until our festive 12 Days Of ALAN!

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I know Alan likes to play at ‘front man’ during The Twitcher but this looks like he’s taken things a step further - his hair looks as dark as Scott’s! Was there a mix-up in the dressing room? 😁

Yey! It's Tuesday 😀👍

Alan loves to twiddle with his knobs! Ooooh Matron!

It was great to see you all at the fishpond

...the only kind of blue that Alan Alan Alan makes us feel ...is the movie kind 😉

We need an Alan advent calendar. Every door opens to reveal a bit more of Alan’s festive organ.

Nice fingering

Is that his avatar? Or papa smurf.

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So our single for Shelter entered the UK iTunes charts at Number 251, and have moved up 35 places in the last 20 minutes... this doesn't bear in mind the Bandcamp downloads at all, so obviously if you do an iTunes Store search and buy it from there, I am guessing it doesn't take much to move upwards. Let's see what you guys can do ...

So our single for Shelter entered the UK iTunes charts at Number 251, and have moved up 35 places in the last 20 minutes... this doesnt bear in mind the Bandcamp downloads at all, so obviously if you do an iTunes Store search and buy it from there, I am guessing it doesnt take much to move upwards. Lets see what you guys can do

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Ah, I did Bandcamp. I'll see if I can get onto iTunes.

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