Into the Wild Festival news: The contours of our existence, our felt sense of who we are, change through time
Latest update from Into the Wild
The contours of our existence, our felt sense of who we are, change through time. At certain periods we’re drawn in one direction, and then we’re drawn in another. So if we’re seeking reassurance that we’re okay by searching for parallel patterns in the world, then that would indicate that any alignment, any harmony, is always going to be just for a brief period of time – since the outer and the inner shapes change.
People experience this also in love relationships. They meet someone, they feel attracted to them, they feel they fall in love and in that moment they see some profound, even ultimate value in the other person. Things go well for a while and then the problems come: “If you’re behaving this way to me then you are not who I thought you were. I fell in love with you because I thought you were who I thought you were.
Well, that means I fell in love with my own projection, with my own idea about you! Now that I have woken up to the fact that you are not like that, that you are not like my fantasy, that you are some other ordinary bugger wandering around in the world, I don’t know whether I love you anymore!!”
That’s very difficult, isn’t it? Reality is the enemy of fantasy. We all know that. Nevertheless it is still a painful thing to see how so many of the deep feelings that we have are conjured up on the basis of our fantasies, of our mental constructions which we project out onto the world.
That we see our fantasies as being actually existing in the world in a self-existing way. If you fall in love with someone you feel that you have some privileged truth about them. Even if you introduce that person to your friends and they’re not quite as certain about them as you are, you still feel: “Well, that’s because they don’t really understand my beloved. He really is nice!” – In your fantasy!!
That is one reason why it’s helpful to have friends that can let us know when we are gettng lost since we ourselves don’t see what we’re up to. Not just surround ourselves with people that reconfirm our sense of identity and our perception of the world.
The royal road to happiness and relaxation is not to believe the stories you tell yourself about yourself, but to look at the world; look at your unfolding potential. Don’t come to a premature conclusion.
Don’t mobilise on the basis of assumption and prediction. Just see what is there and feel your response. Allow the full reception of the situation to evoke the widest possible range of responses and you find yourself being there in the moment.
To be at ease in ourselves with others, let go of what we know and be available for what is. That is the heart of awareness.