10 Glastonbury 2019 stories and moments

by John Bownas
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It’s an easy bit of showmanship and stagecraft to engage with your fans by calling up one or two of them to share the big stage with you. It makes you a man of the people and generates a bit of feel-good buzz. So when Dave decided to ask for someone who had a grip on some of his lyrics to get up out of the Glastonbury crowd there was no real story… until it turned out that the 15-year-old Alex in the Thiago Silva shirt who caught Dave’e eye was more than a match for the star.

The rest, as they say, is history…and with 35million views and rising this is THE viral video of Glastonbury 2019.

The great story shortage

Somehow it gets harder and harder to squeeze a good story out of Glastonbury – after almost 50 years it seems as if everything that can be written about this great event already has been.

So when a few people complained on Twitter about queues for water on a middling-hot day and the organisers took the prudent decision to turn off a few showers to maintain mains water pressure at peak times this must have smelt like fresh (unwashed) carrion to the Fleet Street buzzards.

What water shortage was that then?

The super soaraway Sun even went to the trouble of editing a video that was pasted on a click-bait page of scantily-clad female festival goers. Sadly the video simply showed queues of about ten (wow – hold the front page) people filling water from taps that clearly had full mains pressure – completely flying in the face of the headlines.

Come on guys – get it right!

Red Arrows fly-by+

Why were we not told about this in advance!!

As we ambled down the hill one morning from the camper van fields with a brace of cameras swinging in the non-existent breeze we suddenly looked up to see the pride of the British airforce, the Red Arrows, blasting overhead.

30 seconds more notice would have resulted in an iconic picture taken head on of the phalanx of jets zooming across the festival site ahead of a thunderous roar of engine noise.

Instead all we have to show is this rubbish bit of film taken from one of their cockpits…


£16,000 lighter and still no ticket

Poor old Nathan Chalice…after forking out £16k for a luxury Glastonbury 2019 experience he found himself turning around and heading home empty (numpty) handed.

The question still hangs over how the company concerned was able to source tickets in the first place and sell them so overtly at hyper-inflated prices.

What we do know however – but which was largely left unreported – is that Nathan did get the very lucky opportunity to catch a Wednesday set from the great Nick Parker.

This does pose problems for Nick now as it means the bar for ticket prices for his future gigs has now been raised by approximately £15,990.

99 problems and this tent is one

One is still too many tents left behind… and when the total number of canvas erections is in the tens of thousands even a take-home rate of 99.3% is too high for us.

Seriously people, although we applaud the majority, we still don’t undestand the mentality of the ignorant few who think it’s fine to simply saunter off home leaving an indelible footprint on the farm.

If that one is yours you should be ashamed…

THAT Glastonbury wedding

Massive congratulations to Jack Watney, 32, and Sarah Adey, 31 who managed to pull off the miraculous feat of getting tickets for some 50 of their friends to joint them at a marriage ceremeny on the Croissant Neuf Bandstand.

We have to say, there is something special about ceremonies of this nature at Glastonbury… and this editor speaks from experience having reneweed his vows after ten years in a boxing ring inside an inflatable church presided over by transvestite nuns and a bondage-clad ‘priest’.

Crime ripple

Ten years ago Glastonbury was looking at almsot 400 reported crimes by the Sunday.

This year that figure was down to under 100.

This fall has been the general trend over the last few years (with 2017 showing a slight blip) and we hope to see it continue…

Offence 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013
Burglary 0 0 0 0 1
Criminal Damage 1 0 0 4 5
Drug Offences 30 24 52 76 151
Fraud/Forgery 12 0 0 1 1
Other Offences/Non-Recordable 38 21 4 2 1
Robbery 6 2 0 2 1
Theft and Handling 136 151 168 296 277
Violence Against the Person 19 16 12 14 16
TOTAL 247 217 236 395 453

Sir David on the Pyramid

As mainstage guests go Glastonbury does pretty well.

Who can forget the Dalai Lama?

Well they may have just topped that moment with this year’s surprise appearance from Sir David Attenborough!

Less plastic is fantastic

Hats off to the person who took the step of finally banning those nasty single-use plastic bottles from the site.

1,000,000 less pieces of detritus to find their way into the ecosystem.

This editor reaches the grand old age of 50 in a few days time and is about to try and refind his sea-legs… so in true ‘modern’ style here’s the FaceBook birthday funding page that might help clean some of the existing plastic from our oceans…

If not you, Who? If not now, When?

This simple. bold statement, was emblazoned on bags across the festival site and sums up the ethos of those who strive for global change at a personal level.

Respect your surroundings.

Make a difference – even a small one.

Work collectively and deliver change today for tomorrow’s generation.

Small steps to a big change

Of course what is perhaps interesting to note is that this was a phrase first popularised by that great champion of the eco-sphere, President Ronald Regan… #justsaying

Michael Eavis and 80 rolls of bog paper at a Blue Aeroplanes gig…

We never did get to the ‘bottom’ of why Michael was carrying so much toilet roll with him when he rocked up to grab a drive-in ringside seat to the Blue Aeroplanes show at Avalon.

We did however laugh our socks off at the poor steward who was tasked by his supervisor with ‘getting rid of that car’ from the front of the stage as he innocently tried to get Glastonbury’s legendary king gnome to move on…

The Blue Aeroplanes rocked by the way…

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